Most people see me as the girl who can handle everything. The senior‑level classes, the job after school, the responsibilities at home, the straight A’s. And I can handle a lot.
Last week I had tests back to back to back. I’d come home, eat, clean, make sure my brothers were good, try to sleep, wake up early, and do it all again. And because I’m in advanced and gifted classes, teachers expect more from me. Sometimes too much. My math teacher literally gave me extra work specifically to just me even though it didn’t count for anything. It feels like an unrealistic standard I’m supposed to keep up forever.
When it gets like that my body tells me before my mind. Sometimes I ignore the signs until it’s too much. I start getting really bad headaches the kind that make it hard to think or even move. Sometimes I feel like I’m about to cry over anything.
Meditating helps me slow down. I sit in silence, usually with a constant sound in the background, like the humming of the dehumidifier in my room and I just think. I go over my day, what I could’ve done better, what I need to let go of. It’s the only time I really hear myself.
I used to worry about everyone else more than me. I forgave people too easily even when they hurt me. But something clicked this year and I started asking myself how things made me feel, not just everyone else. At Missionfit, the discussions, the journal prompts, the way conversations go deeper. They make me think about who I am, how I show up, and what I need. Even doing my presentation on mental health made me learn more about myself and how I cope.
I’m still figuring it out and I still push myself too hard. I’m learning to listen to my body, to slow down, and to take care of myself before everything spills over.
Signing out,
Kayla Simons
